Clockwork Sorrow
by dvshipper
Summary: There's something odd about today that causes Vala to be concerned for Daniel. Daniel/Vala, Daniel/Sha're canon and memories


Title: Clockwork Sorrow

Title: Clockwork Sorrow

Author: dvshipper

Rating: G

Spoilers/Warnings: Forever In A Day (vague), Daniel/Sha're (canon)

Summary: There's something odd about today that causes Vala to be concerned for Daniel.

A/N: Thanks to taraleesg1, the awesomest beta ever! Yes, I know. A lot of my stories are sad, but it's what moves me. You got to move it move it! Yyyyyeah.

Vala didn't know what to do. Daniel actually wasn't annoyed with her the entire day. In the morning when she had bounced into his office and sat on his desk, all he did was move his coffee out of the way. Quiet conversation passed between them, but it wasn't the usual banter they shared. No spark, no life. It was as if Daniel wasn't there at all.

When lunch had come around, Daniel sat alone at a table on the edge of the room. Normally when a person sat by themselves they were either deeply engrossed in some thought or book or watched the other people move around them. But no, Daniel stared off into the distance as if he was watching some great epic without any sound. That wasn't the weirdest part though. When Sam and Teal'c joined Vala at her table, they didn't even comment on Daniel's behavior. To them, everything was normal and nothing amiss.

By the afternoon, Vala's curiosity and concern both needed to know what was going on. The only person who could give her an answer was Daniel. Why not go straight to the source, right? Vala marched down the hall and into the bookshelf filled office that Daniel could call home. Thoroughly set on getting her answer, she was about to make a demanding statement, but then she saw Daniel.

Sitting at his cluttered desk, he had a picture frame in one hand and his other hand gently clasping his glasses. Tear stains marked his cheeks in an uncertain pattern. Without his glasses Daniel usually looked quite sexy, but now he just looked vulnerable. Setting down the picture frame, Daniel took up a pen and began to write something on a sheet of paper.

Vala stayed half hidden in the doorway, not wanting to intrude but unable to leave. Curiosity was like glue, cementing her feet in place. Not only did she want to know who was in the frame, but also why Daniel was so affected. Privacy was what he probably needed most, but that thought didn't cross Vala's mind.

Daniel finished his writing of what appeared to be a letter and leaned back with a sigh. Putting his hands behind his head, he closed his eyes, seemingly at peace. Vala loathed herself for disturbing that peace but she just had to. "Daniel? May I come in?" she asked quietly, still standing in the doorway.

Daniel put his glasses back on quickly, raising his Vala-proof shield once again. Rubbing his cheeks, he hoped Vala hadn't been standing there long. His past wasn't something he particularly liked people to see. "You've never asked before," Daniel commented, motioning for Vala to enter.

"Yes, well…." Vala's voice trailed off, not wanting to explain that she'd been watching him go through what she assumed was a very personal moment.

"Aren't you supposed to be helping Sam with that spare part from a cargo ship?" Daniel asked, cleaning off his desk a little, hopefully hiding the letter he'd been writing just minutes before.

"I've already finished that. I'm actually here to ask if you're okay," Vala told him, feeling a little uncomfortable showing that she cared.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Daniel asked, turning his attention from her to the computer screen. He was hoping she hadn't noticed his odd behavior because he didn't really want to explain.

"It's like you've been gone all day, Daniel. Not once have you told me not to touch anything. That is definitely not normal," Vala said with a furrowed brow born of confusion and worry.

"Maybe I just don't need to anymore," Daniel tried to look like he was reading a very interesting mission report, but he knew he wasn't a very good actor.

"Now you know that's not true. If there's something wrong, Daniel…." Vala again trailed off, not knowing how to continue. How could she tell him she wanted to help with whatever he was going through? That wasn't her way, but she also wasn't about to start the innuendos she usually hid behind. Even she knew that wasn't appropriate and sat on the edge of his desk instead.

Daniel's gaze dropped down to his lap. His eyes still burned from recently shed tears and he tried to gather his thoughts. Could he trust Vala to care or did she just want to be near him? The look in her eyes when she had walked in gave him his answer. Even though she was ready, that didn't mean Daniel was. "It's just a rough day is all."

"So rough you can't talk about it?" Vala asked because she wasn't going to let this one pass.

"Maybe," Daniel replied, still unable to look at Vala and give his sadness away. Surprise reached him though when a soft hand touched his chin. Vala guided his face to look her in the eyes. There was something about her expression that had changed. No agenda was hidden behind her eyes, just pure kindness and a glimmer of what appeared to be love.

"Wanna talk anyway?" Vala caressed Daniel's scruffy chin with her thumb, hoping to soften him with her touch. It hurt her to see him this depressed and she wanted to do anything to see him smile again. If that meant pushing him a little, that's what she'd do.

"What's there to talk about? You've already read my file," Daniel smirked, his mood lightening a little because of the small gap between him and Vala. Her smell reached his nose and it was comfortingly familiar.

"Yes, well, mission reports and biographies only tell one so much about a person. For instance, your file did not inform me of your favorite movie, the music you listen to the most, or who your favorite alien is," Vala told Daniel with a wink and a smile, dropping her hand back to her lap. Discussing personal matters was not something she did often with other people but with Daniel it wasn't uncomfortable. She didn't find herself impatient for useful information or bored to tears by someone incredibly dull. Vala watched Daniel let out a small laugh and smile to himself.

"Well, my favorite movie is one called The Librarian. It's actually good even though it was just made for TV," Daniel began, looking at Vala who seemed thoroughly interested. Feeling encouraged, he continued. "Oddly enough I listen to country music mostly. Trace Adkins, Brad Paisley, and various others. I can't begin to tell you all the heat I've gotten for that. Well, except for Mitchell. And my favorite alien…."

Vala saw Daniel's face drop again to the sad expression he'd had all day. Having thought she knew what the answer would be (Teal'c), she was a little confused. Without saying a word, Daniel handed her the wood picture frame he'd been holding earlier. Behind the glass was the image of a beautiful woman with curly black hair and dark tan skin. "Who was she?" Vala asked after a moment of silence.

"Sha're," Daniel replied, gazing at his wife's image that he could just barely see because of the angle Vala was holding it at.

Vala knew now who this woman was. Daniel's wife that had been taken host by Amonet and then killed after Daniel had searched for her for years. The name sounded familiar coming from his lips, like she too had heard it for years. Vala was surprised that she didn't feel jealous of this woman. Sha're had captured Daniel's heart and his love for her led him across the galaxy hoping to save her. Instead, Vala felt a bit of a connection to this woman. Both had been hosts and loved Daniel to the end of the universe. Vala wondered if her and Sha're would have ever been friends if they had met.

Daniel saw the recognition in Vala's face as she gazed at the photo. She really had read his file. He knew that really shouldn't surprise him; Vala seemed to know everything about him. But what did catch him off guard was what Vala said next. "Is that why you're depressed today? Did she die on this day?"

"Yes," Daniel replied simply. Vala didn't seem to need more of an answer because a comfortable silence settled between them. But it didn't last long.

"What were you doing when I was at the door?" Vala asked quietly, sharing the grief of his loss of Sha're.

"I was writing a letter. It's what I do every year. It's always to her and it always says the same things. I guess it's my way of keeping a bit of her alive. It's not as hard as it used to be, which is good. But it's still tough and writing helps," Daniel explained to the willing listener that was Vala. He saw her think for a moment, looking on the verge of tears.

"Tell me about her." There was no question in Vala's words. She wanted to know what Sha're was like. What affected Daniel affected Vala and that included his past. She knew that there would come a time when she would need to tell him her story, but today was about Daniel and about Sha're.

"She had this amazing smile that just made you wonder what she found so amusing. Always wanted to learn something new and a great kisser," Daniel saw Vala smile and he did as well. He leaned back in his chair and told Vala his fondest memories of his year with Sha're. Teaching her English and how to write. The first time she drank his homemade moonshine and got drunk. Family dinners with Kasuf and Skaara.

Vala drank in his every word and that made Daniel happy. Not that she was simply paying attention, but that she genuinely cared. They had gotten to the point in their relationship where they could just talk without her innuendos or his uncomfortable remarks. Usually this day was a little too tough, but this year Daniel had someone to talk to. Vala hadn't been there for everything and didn't think the best thing was to leave him alone. Perhaps she was the one who knew what was best for him. Vala pushed Daniel and that was exactly what he needed.


End file.
